“I remember I couldn’t help but imagine how things looked down here from where she was. I’m sure Pa would have told me I was stupid to think like that. But anyway, I still wondered. I imagined she was higher than the sky. Much higher. And maybe she wasn’t even watching us. Maybe she didn’t need to. Maybe things moved backwards wherever she was. Or maybe she was just covered in darkness somewhere. A deep, rich, rolling darkness that kept her from remembering anything bad at all.
But in the back of my mind I hoped, as I must admit I still hope even now, that she was out in the sky somewhere floating like dust and watching me chop and hobble, even though that was the least likely thing to be true. But maybe she was. And maybe her eyes still worked regardless of the shape she took, and she could see everything. And maybe somehow she broke through the atmosphere and was sent somewhere out in space where she couldn’t tell if her eyes were opened or closed. Someplace where it was always sparkling blackness. Or maybe it was somewhere past that. Somewhere tucked deep behind the planets. Maybe she floated back so far—all the way back to where things began. Back to the beginning before any of this was. Where something or someone for some reason became important in a vast grey space and sang out the first exploding speck into twos and fours and then light. And maybe she got to see it all happen because only someone as pure as her could be a guardian for that kind of knowledge."